Mental load: what is it? Who wears it in the couple?
The mental load is having to think about everything, all the time. A generator of stress, it is “ a cognitive load that mainly weighs on women. Their minds are perpetually solicited by the daily and constant management and organization for which they are responsible for the smooth running of the home ,” defines Marie-Laure Monneret, founder of Bloom Coaching and author of the book Exit the mental burden (2018).
In addition to their salaried work, many mothers take on double or even triple domestic and parental work (not to mention life as a couple and social life) . How can you not be exhausted? No wonder many mothers are tired, irritated and stressed, even feeling guilty about not being able to manage everything. “ A woman who suffers from her mental load ends up having a bad image of herself because she has the impression of being no good at all. She tries to manage everything, alone, to do everything perfectly but objectively, it is not possible ,” assures Marie-Laure Monneret. Many put real pressure on themselves, “ telling themselves that they have nothing to complain about ,” continues the coach.
“ When I moved in with my husband , I realized after a while that it was me who managed and anticipated the majority of things. I endured this state of affairs for a long time, without thinking of talking about it. I quickly felt very stressed, overwhelmed and even judged when I discussed it based on “you’re the one stressing yourself, or exaggerating, etc.” », says Marie, member of the collective T'asthought of (TPA).